How to take dating slowly
But what if, besides physical attraction, you don’t actually have anything in common with your new guy? Going too fast could mean you’re headed for a crash-and-burn situation.
We can all relate to all those Taylor Swift songs about super intense short relationships.
Do not jump in with your whole heart- get to know the person so you don’t fall in love with the idea of him, but the actual person and what he is offering you (not what you hope or wish he’ll offer you.) Avoid thinking about him all of the time, which creates a habit of preoccupation which can lead to obsession- which definitely isn’t based on who he is- but the idea of him, and will make moving on more difficult to do.
DO NOT envision or plan the future in your head, or plug him into your life before you know whether he is worthy of being a big part of your life.
Enjoy what’s in front of you and let go of the need to define “what this is” or “where this is going.” Simply enjoy and allow it to unfold without clinging to what you hope will happen.
Stay active with friends, hobbies, activities that do not involve him. Never tie your feeling good to how he’s behaving toward you.
We’ve all done it – been so totally smitten with the new guy in our lives that all we want to do is make out 24/7 and ignore all our other commitments.
Soon we’re texting him all the time, which is probably the 2015 equivalent of writing your name with his last name in your math class notebook.
Ever hopeful that the next time will be better, however, many people find themselves almost instantly in a new and similarly passionate relationship.
It can be OK, unless it continues for a long period of time, according to Jennifer Oikle, Ph.
D., relationship psychologist, dating coach, and founder of My Soulmate Oikle says longlasting relationships require each partner to settle into stable and fairly equitable levels of love.
If you find yourself tumbling head over heels in new relationships, here are Dr.
Oikle’s tips for keeping emotions in check so that the relationship can grow– on both sides.
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Falling head over heels in love means, to many couples, having sex as soon as possible.