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They will have other friends and you will eventually end up meeting people." —ameliag4a2dd527b "Ask fun questions about their likes and interests. " —William Gallagher, Facebook "When you're talking to someone you think you could be interested in, remember that you're looking to see if you are interested in them, not if they are interested in you.Once I thought of it that way, I was a lot less anxious and worried about being likable." —mrctheamazing "As an introvert, you will never find 'the one' if you think that is defined by instantly feeling comfortable with someone.There’s a problem with the one-size-fits-all wisdom commonly intoned during dating discussions (“Just put yourself out there! After jumping through the hoops of answering questions such as “where are you from? ” one too many times, you start feeling that dates are no longer probable sources of a deep, meaningful relationship, but rather deep, dark pits of despair. You tend to be sucked of all your energy as if you’ve been set upon by a Harry Potter dementor. Don’t feel the need to go into some long, drawn-out explanation either.Because, as introverts, we often derive our energy from solitude and quiet contemplation in which to process life’s events, we have only so much social goodwill to go around. Just simply state that you need to reschedule, and offer an alternative date, time, and place. I’m going to pass along the best piece of advice my old therapist ever gave me.I used to have a friend who’d say, “Dating is nothing but a numbers game.” She believed that going on more dates was equivalent to a higher likelihood of falling in love. However well-intentioned it may be, it flies in the face of a major factor essential to an introvert’s well-being—alone time. So yes, you will have times when sitting across from another human being, you’ll feel you’d rather pull out your molars without Novocaine than think of another word to say to this person. I feared if I declined, I would be passing up on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. You will have days when unexpected issues arise at work, your cat gets sick, a family member calls with an emergency, or a friend emails with the last-minute favor to which you have to say yes because they helped you out last week.It might sound pretty reasonable when you first hear it except for the fact that it’s utter bullshit. It took me years of dating before I finally started ignoring this type of “practical” advice. For introverts, first dates are minefields of small talk and mindless chatter. if a tree falls in the forest and there’s no one to hear it, would this date be just as bad? As a result, I spent the following weekend on the couch, exhausted, spiraling down the rabbit hole of a bad television binge, barely able to peek around the door when the delivery guy dropped off my take-out. If you have a date scheduled that evening and you just can’t go, so be it.I like to drop little hints throughout my online profile about how much I value my quiet time; this roots out any suitors prowling for a party girl.
"Losing a romantic relationship can be a bigger void for you than for an extrovert who has many friends and can easily spend time with other people," says Anita Chlipala, LMFT, a dating expert in Chicago.
But that doesn't mean they can't hold a conversation.
"I think another misconception is that introverts would be dull dates," Dembling says.
If you're someone who identifies as an introvert, the burden of responsibility for a breakup can feel insurmountable."Introverts don't tend to volunteer their thoughts, feelings, or opinions, especially if it will make someone mad," says Samantha Burns, LMHC, a relationship counselor and dating coach.
They may also be more sensitive to negative evaluations from other people, she says.
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"I prefer to go to a place I knew or had been to before.