You've been trawling your city, going on date after date with people you've met through apps or online. We met in one of those musty bric-a-brac cafes with only two tables and a large collection of vintage Dolly magazines - his choice. There's only one thing left to do, and that's obviously to join a convent. About a week after swiping right I’d taken a really solid dump which meant I was at my goal weight and was ready to let him see my true, monstrous form IRL, so we set up a coffee date.That awkward dance when all you want to do is have sex and all they want is to lock you in their basement and force you to lather your skin in moisturiser every day is also incredibly inconvenient. This might seem like an extreme choice, but for someone like me who has been online dating for one thousand two hundred years, it was necessary to get ‘back in the habit’ and reaffirm my relationship with Whoopi Goldberg.But joining a convent isn’t as easy as witnessing a murder and being put into the witness protection programme. Although for me, and maybe for you, it might be the most spiritually fulfilling way to prevent yourself from replying to that person who messaged you a month ago calling you a ‘hot mama’. You need to know what you’re getting yourself into.
In Amen – an autobiography of a nun, Sister Jesme says when she became a nun she discovered priests were forcing novices to have sex with them.This too became my life goal, to find fulfillment in pleasure, parties, guys, and sports and to be a “Julia Roberts look-alike”.Thinking I had found my “true love” I entered into a very unhealthy dating relationship.The fact that they must face their desire for romantic love by looking into it deeply, and by cultivating love for the community, they are well equipped to answer any break-ups, marriages and dating you get attracted to someone, and before taking it to the next level, stop and ask yourself why.It is easy to attribute it to magic, intuition or chance.