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Segal’s remarks came as part of his “Harassment Quiz” at SHRM’s recent Annual Convention and Exposition in New Orleans. Because in the real world, how does a subordinate say no? One good way to talk to managers is to make the point that some things go over the line the first time (for example, “Let’s have sex,” or the use of the “N” word) and some things go over the line the second time (the persistent dating requests).Segal is a partner in the Philadelphia office of law firm Duane Morris LLP. Not wanting to say what she really feels (“I’d rather hang by pins in my eyes than date you”), she says “I’m busy.” The boss hears, “She’d love to, but she can’t this time.” So he asks again. Now back to the scenario of the supervisor who asked for a date, the subordinate refused, and it appeared that there was no harassment.Don't focus too much attention of trying to be everyone's friend. Subordinates tend to imitate their supervisor or employer. Be calm and respectful but firmly explain why this behavior is unacceptable.Maintain a take-charge attitude to avoid being taken advantage of by your subordinates. Set the bar for professionalism to distinguish yourself from your employees. When the line between supervisor and subordinate blurs, employees might speak to you inappropriately or stop following your directions. Valencia Higuera is a freelance writer from Chesapeake, Virginia.And again, there’s a poor appraisal, or someone else gets a coveted promotion.

Finally, says Segal, even when the relationship itself poses no problems, there’s still the issue of “paramour preference.” That is, other employees who allege that they are being unfairly treated on the basis of sex because promotions and raises are going to the person having sex with the boss.

No-dating policies generally ban dating between a supervisor and their subordinate.

Employment attorney Anna Cohen, writing in HR Hero Online, suggests that no-dating policies can be problematic, as it is difficult to define exactly the type of behavior that will be restricted. United Parcel Services, the 7th Circuit appellate court upheld a no-dating policy that forbade managers from a romantic relationship with any hourly employee, as long as it was consistently enforced.

The issue of subordinate dating is an issue of power, Segal says. So far so good, says Segal, but in the real world, now comes the performance appraisal time, and guess what, it’s a negative one.

The subordinate will claim that the poor appraisal was due to her refusing the date request.

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Practice good customer service, avoid foul language or inappropriate speech, dress appropriately and maintain a good work ethic. She has contributed content to print publications and online publications such as Sidestep.com, AOL Travel, and ABC Loan Guide.

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