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‘It’s easy to do with Louise as she likes things low-key as well, unlike Barbara who loved making a fuss over him.‘They just don’t make a big song and dance about it.

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On my way out of the bathroom of a café in South Kensington, I collide with an unusual-looking man. He is wearing a flamboyant silk scarf and a capacious greatcoat, and peers through his spectacles like a character from a wartime spy novel.

We make our apologies and I find my way to the corner of the café to wait for Oliver James, the esteemed clinical psychologist and broadcaster, author of such iconic books as They F*** You Up, Britain on the Couch and Affluenza.

After a couple of minutes, I realise I have just met him. James' new book, How Not to F*** Them Up – the follow-on to his cult classic They F*** You Up – is a psychological guide to parenting.

James removes his flamboyant scarf and coat and sits down opposite me, taking a nicotine tablet. I tell him I have three: a two-year-old and nine-month-old twins. Unlike other books of this sort, How Not to F*** Them Up focuses on the wellbeing of the parent as a starting point for meeting the needs of the child.

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"I've just had the photoshoot," he says, "I wonder if they've made me look horrible." I make reassuring noises to the effect that they've not. In reality, James argues, the happiness of the parent is "what will ultimately decide whether your child has a fruitful, sane life".

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